Rogues. Everybody knows one and everybody has, at some point got sick of their bullshit. However, it has to be said, they are masters of their craft. Hiding in plain sight, looking for weaknesses in their enemies’ defence and then striking with pin point precision to, sometimes, deadly effect. We braved the danger in order to get the lowdown on the secrets of this deadly art and sat down with Dexter Slyblade who gave us a run down on what it takes to be a rogue.
So, obviously, you have to be a bit on the sneaky side. Quite light on your feet, quick with and even sometimes even quicker with the old wit and charm. Oh, sorry, is this your watch? It just seems to have fallen into my pocket. I can tell that you’re impressed. I’ve been doing this for quite some time. So, listen up, here’s some of the secrets to being a rogueish individual like myself. First of all, you don’t want to wear anything that stands out too much, preferably dark fabric to try blend into the shadows to get the jump on any adversaries. Once in combat, you need to create openings to catch your opponent off guard to strike with precision. Perhaps you can perform a quick feint to get them to drop their guard momentarily. Or even find something to hide behind and wait for the opportune time. My favourite technique is to use one of my companions to flank with. Once we’re diametrically opposed with an enemy between us, that’s when the magic happens.
What do you mean “why diametrically?”. That’s just how it works. I am on one side of the enemy, a colleague on the exact opposite side of the enemy and boom, suddenly they’re off guard. I mean, it wouldn’t work otherwise. Well yes, technically we’d still be flanking even if we weren’t perfect geometric opposites but then the enemy wouldn’t be off guard. I don’t know why not. I just know that once we hit that sweet spot, that apple is right for the picking. No, it wouldn’t be the same if we were both on the same side of the opponent. That wouldn’t be flanking, obviously. Well yeah, the enemy is still being attacked by two of us and is somewhat distracted but that isn’t enough to catch them flat footed. What do you mean it doesn’t make sense? What aren’t you understanding? In order for the enemy to be caught off guard, we have to be perfectly opposed to each other.
No, it doesn’t f***ing work if I’m a step to the right. Are you purposely trying to annoy me? The enemy is just as capable of handling any number of foes as long as they’re not diametrically opposed with each other. It’s that simple. And no, before you ask, you wouldn’t catch them off guard with a ranged weapon if they were in melee with a companion. You need a special ability for that. Look, give me a second and I’ll explain it to you.
He then disappeared in cloud of smoke, presumably to find a chess board and pieces to explain what he meant. We used the break to make a hasty retreat as we had completely lost interest at this point
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