They say “music makes the world go round” but what happens when it, you know, doesn’t?
Rodrigorio Alabastor had the world the whole world for the taking when he started out his education into the arts but now, he seems to have hit a bit of a dry patch. We sat down to talk with him to see if we could get to the bottom of this.
“Talent like mine comes along but once in a lifetime. From my early years I was making music with everything I could get my hands on. Rocks, bits of wood. strings tied between two posts and even the family cat. It was years later when I picked up the lute”
“I began travelling from town to town singing songs about the brave adventurers and their exploits. So much so that I ended up becoming one. With my party I was able to not only travel the world but to also refine my art and imbue my performances with magic. We saw places and things I could have only ever dreamed of: waterfalls into never ending caverns, multiheaded dragons and even liaised on more than one occasion with the outer planes”
“As well as saving countless lives and making money hand over fist, I was able to use these world, and other worldly influences to perfect my craft. Now, at the time of retirement, I want to share my magnus opus with the world. And everybody hates it”
“I mean , I was never a amphitheatre filling kind of guy but at least I could entertain a moderate crowd back then but now? People hear me warming up the dragon’s sphincter and they run for the hills. They don’t even let me begin to rhythmically dry heave”
“what? the Dragon’s sphincter? oh yes, That’s something I picked up on my travels in far away lands and it is the instrument of choice of the M’usidra people. Granted, they normally use it for their warrior’s chant but I think bringing into contemporary music gives the traditional Bard songs a bit of flatulent potency”
“I just don’t get it really. With the amount I have studied and worked at what I do, I should be near enough the greatest musician in the world. Just because people’s untrained senses can’t appreciate the nuance of traditional metal scraping rods, why should I suffer?”
We then bid farewell to Rodrigorio with a better idea of why he isn’t more popular but the question that really stuck with us was, what the fuck did he used to do to that cat?
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